No long comments today - just a request for thankfulness. There is so much to be thankful for that I think we don't often stop and just be thankful. I wish it didn't take a holiday - to make us remember thankfulness.
I could not hope to list all the things I am thankful for this year. The list would be too long! I encourage everyone, though, to stop - and think of what you are truly thankful for this Thanksgiving.
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Friday, November 17, 2006
Working Mom Whoas
Since when did he start calling me Mommy to others? This was the thought I had when I called the daycare center to check on Emmett. He's been having some really tough mornings when Craig drops him off. Lots of tears, lots of pushing the teacher away, even a little passive aggressive "I'll just grab my coat off this hook for Appa so I can go home now" behavior. Not that I expected this transition to be easy, but apparently I've set myself up to fail!
What were we thinking??? As my dear cousin laments in his blog about parenting being a lesson in learning from your mistakes - we've made a good one here. Just an FYI for anyone looking to adopt, and then place in day care a 3 yr old from another country. Keep the schedule consistent on a daily basis (not weekly). And keep the number day care providers down to 1. DUH! Rookie mistake! So we've simplified Emmett's life (not that he has noticed yet). One daycare provider, and he goes every weekday. Although on Tuesdays, I'll pick him up really early.
Now I admit, Craig drew the short straw on the daycare/drop off/pick up deal. He's the one who has to drop the little man off. He's the one who hears from the back seat "Appa, home" in that pitiful little sad voice. Me, I get the good part! Watching my son tackle anyone (or anything) on his way to give me the biggest, tightest, take-your-breathe-away-cause-he's-got-your-neck! hug ever! All the while screaming "OOOOOMMMMMMMAAAAAA" Yep! it's cute.
But on Wednesday, which was his first really bad morning, I didn't get any work done. I couldn't concentrate. I kept wondering if he'd calmed down. Thoughts like "what have I done" would creep into my head. Maybe it's too early, maybe I should have stayed home longer, maybe this isn't the right daycare. It's no wonder I could concentrate. If parenting = learning from mistakes, then motherhood = living with doubt. My coworkers can attest to my saying "I've never doubted myself this much!"
And to top it all off, I'm now falling asleep at 9:30. Yep, the night owl that I used to be is apparently desiring to hibernate! ( do owls hibernate?) Oh Lord, I really am turning into my mother!
What were we thinking??? As my dear cousin laments in his blog about parenting being a lesson in learning from your mistakes - we've made a good one here. Just an FYI for anyone looking to adopt, and then place in day care a 3 yr old from another country. Keep the schedule consistent on a daily basis (not weekly). And keep the number day care providers down to 1. DUH! Rookie mistake! So we've simplified Emmett's life (not that he has noticed yet). One daycare provider, and he goes every weekday. Although on Tuesdays, I'll pick him up really early.
Now I admit, Craig drew the short straw on the daycare/drop off/pick up deal. He's the one who has to drop the little man off. He's the one who hears from the back seat "Appa, home" in that pitiful little sad voice. Me, I get the good part! Watching my son tackle anyone (or anything) on his way to give me the biggest, tightest, take-your-breathe-away-cause-he's-got-your-neck! hug ever! All the while screaming "OOOOOMMMMMMMAAAAAA" Yep! it's cute.
But on Wednesday, which was his first really bad morning, I didn't get any work done. I couldn't concentrate. I kept wondering if he'd calmed down. Thoughts like "what have I done" would creep into my head. Maybe it's too early, maybe I should have stayed home longer, maybe this isn't the right daycare. It's no wonder I could concentrate. If parenting = learning from mistakes, then motherhood = living with doubt. My coworkers can attest to my saying "I've never doubted myself this much!"
And to top it all off, I'm now falling asleep at 9:30. Yep, the night owl that I used to be is apparently desiring to hibernate! ( do owls hibernate?) Oh Lord, I really am turning into my mother!
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
2 months home
Two months ago, I became a mother. On Sept 14, 2006 I landed in the US with Emmett holding my hand, in between eating shrimp chips. It's hard to imagine that it has actually been 2 months. September seems like an age ago. We've all come so far since then. Emmett has grown much more comfortable with us. His giggles and belly laughs brighten our days. And his singing of "Red Red Robin" just crack us up. We have adjusted to thinking that 7am is "waking up late", and that it does really take 10 mins to get out of the house with a 3yr old. Not to say that these last two months haven't been incredible hard either. The adjustment of insta-parenthood is not easy. Whether you bring home a 3yr old or a 3 day old - you still arrive in your house and think. Ok, now what?
Someone once told me they thought I was brave to bring a 3 yr old into our home after 7 years of marriage (i.e. having 7 years of just the two of us). I don't think I'm brave - naive yes, but not brave. The challenges of a 3 day old as opposed to a 3yr old are no greater or less, simply different. I love the fact that Emmett is three - I wish I had known him when he was younger, but the little person I know now is so much fun. To watch his imagination grow has been such a joy. Listening to him count everything (in English, no less) is a blast to hear. He is such a sweet boy - with a demeanor which is apparent to everyone. He's 3 - yes, so unfortunately, he doesn't look where he's running and will flaten his baby cousin onto the floor. But, he at least stops to make sure she's ok before continuing the chase. And when we talk to him about slowing down, and watching where he's going - he listens and tries to obey. He has a desire to the right thing - at least right now he does.
Many adoptive parents feel the need to say "I can't imagine life without him". I feel the same peer pressure to say that too. But I can imagine a life without Emmett. However, when I compare a life without Emmett to the life I live now, with him - I like the one I have now so much better. Not because Emmett brings me joy (which he does), but because I love Emmett, I love being his Omma, and I would trade this life (or Emmett) for a million days of sleeping in, or late night movies. God led us on this journey to adopt Emmett. God choose Emmett to be our son, and being thankful for the here and now is so much more appealing than imagining a life without Emmett.
So happy 2 month Family Day, Emmett. I'm so blessed to be your Omma - and I love you very much.
Someone once told me they thought I was brave to bring a 3 yr old into our home after 7 years of marriage (i.e. having 7 years of just the two of us). I don't think I'm brave - naive yes, but not brave. The challenges of a 3 day old as opposed to a 3yr old are no greater or less, simply different. I love the fact that Emmett is three - I wish I had known him when he was younger, but the little person I know now is so much fun. To watch his imagination grow has been such a joy. Listening to him count everything (in English, no less) is a blast to hear. He is such a sweet boy - with a demeanor which is apparent to everyone. He's 3 - yes, so unfortunately, he doesn't look where he's running and will flaten his baby cousin onto the floor. But, he at least stops to make sure she's ok before continuing the chase. And when we talk to him about slowing down, and watching where he's going - he listens and tries to obey. He has a desire to the right thing - at least right now he does.
Many adoptive parents feel the need to say "I can't imagine life without him". I feel the same peer pressure to say that too. But I can imagine a life without Emmett. However, when I compare a life without Emmett to the life I live now, with him - I like the one I have now so much better. Not because Emmett brings me joy (which he does), but because I love Emmett, I love being his Omma, and I would trade this life (or Emmett) for a million days of sleeping in, or late night movies. God led us on this journey to adopt Emmett. God choose Emmett to be our son, and being thankful for the here and now is so much more appealing than imagining a life without Emmett.
So happy 2 month Family Day, Emmett. I'm so blessed to be your Omma - and I love you very much.
Friday, November 03, 2006
Where we are now...
Today is my last day home with Emmett. Monday it's back to reality and work. My job has historically been 50+ hours, so I'm pretty nervous about the transition.
We visited his daycare yesterday, and I guess I wasn't prepared for the mass chaois which is a 2-3yr old room. His teacher (who is Korean) is a saint and has the best attitude and patience. Despite the bully kid who's favorite pastime is punching other kids for no apparent reason.
Needless to say, I'm worried about my little man coming home with a black eye! Despite all of my worrying - he had a blast while we were there. I know that he will adjust, and I know that it's the best option for all of us. I'm not SAHM material - and he's bored out of his gord at home. It will be great for his English skills and independance building.
We're working him up to a full day at daycare next week and we'll take it one day at a time from there. I keep repeating to myself that it is only 3 days a week that he's even in daycare. (I have an amazingly flexible schedule), so at least I still have some dedicated time with him.
He has come so far since coming home. He is well attached to us. He loves his Appa and nearly jumps out of his skin to hug him when he gets home. He loves the dog, despite the dog playing tug-o-war with Emmett right into the door frame. He is very affectionate and wants to be hugged or held when he's sad. The sad times are fewer than ever, but a little cuddle and a song help us through those moments. His English has taken off! He knows about 50 or so English words as well as a dozen two -three word phrases. My favorite is the phrase "Come on" which comes out "CHEE mon". It just cracks me up when he tells the dog to chee mon - and the dog looks at me like "huh?". He basically understands everything that I need to communicate to him, he just can't always respond in English yet.
All in all, I've loved this time I've had to spend with Emmett one on one. I never thought I'd have a moments hesititation in returning to work, but something has changed in me. I think it's that I've become a mom.
We visited his daycare yesterday, and I guess I wasn't prepared for the mass chaois which is a 2-3yr old room. His teacher (who is Korean) is a saint and has the best attitude and patience. Despite the bully kid who's favorite pastime is punching other kids for no apparent reason.
Needless to say, I'm worried about my little man coming home with a black eye! Despite all of my worrying - he had a blast while we were there. I know that he will adjust, and I know that it's the best option for all of us. I'm not SAHM material - and he's bored out of his gord at home. It will be great for his English skills and independance building.
We're working him up to a full day at daycare next week and we'll take it one day at a time from there. I keep repeating to myself that it is only 3 days a week that he's even in daycare. (I have an amazingly flexible schedule), so at least I still have some dedicated time with him.
He has come so far since coming home. He is well attached to us. He loves his Appa and nearly jumps out of his skin to hug him when he gets home. He loves the dog, despite the dog playing tug-o-war with Emmett right into the door frame. He is very affectionate and wants to be hugged or held when he's sad. The sad times are fewer than ever, but a little cuddle and a song help us through those moments. His English has taken off! He knows about 50 or so English words as well as a dozen two -three word phrases. My favorite is the phrase "Come on" which comes out "CHEE mon". It just cracks me up when he tells the dog to chee mon - and the dog looks at me like "huh?". He basically understands everything that I need to communicate to him, he just can't always respond in English yet.
All in all, I've loved this time I've had to spend with Emmett one on one. I never thought I'd have a moments hesititation in returning to work, but something has changed in me. I think it's that I've become a mom.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)