When we first started the adoption process, I secretly stalked a few web forums. Eventually, I started to freely publish comments and things on our agency's forum - and this is where I heard of Twice the Rice (TTR). TTR was a blog written by an adult Korean adoptee, Ji-in who had great insights about inter-racial adoption. I began to regularly read TTR - and it began to shape some of my thoughts about our own adoption.
Being an inter-racial family wasn't something I ever thought about. We had desired to adopt since getting married, and in my mind, we were always going to go overseas to adopt. The word "inter-racial" really didn't mean anything to me. My eyes were opened by reading TTR. To hear from someone who walked the same path as our little guy. Hear her express her frustrations and joys of being adopted really opened my eyes to what it means to be an inter-racial family.
I'm sorry to say that Ji-in has retired TTR. She had been maintaining her blog a lot longer than I have been writting this one, and I can imagine that it could get tedious to be the center of attention for so many pre-adoptive, adoptive families as well as adoptees. I'm bummed because I loved hearing her perspective.
Despite the retired status of TTR, I encourage any adoptive parents (or interested parties) to go check out the blog. Wander through the archives and see what you find. There are great topics to really get you thinking. Sometimes we adoptive parents get on our 'saved the world, one kid at a time' high-horse. We're told by friends and family of what a wonderful thing we've done. As if we plucked our children out of hell itself. I admit, sometimes it's nice to hear that, cause it makes me seem really compassionate. But in reality, we have taken the responsibility of raising a child which is not our own. We have promised to love them, care for them, and raise them to be responsible citzens of the world. But no amount of our love will replace the connection to their first mothers nor to their birth countries. Nor should we ever hope to replace those things.
I bid ado to my friend TTR. One blog to another, you really changed my perspective on things. Farewell friend -
//twicetherice.wordpress.com/
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