Life is full of changes. Especially people... People come and go through our lives. Some stay for years on end, becoming part of the daily routine. While others are friends enjoyed for a phase of life, and as that phase ends, the friendships drift away.

Managers (bosses) are similar- they come, they go. Sometimes you're relieved to see them go. Sometimes your a bit bummed. Sometimes, after they've moved on and you've moved on, you develop a friendship. That was the case with J. Great manager, really nice guy. And this week, he left the company to go work in Texas. I'm happy for him and his family, and the opportunity this gives him. But as I checked my mailbox at work today, I noticed an inter-office envelope waiting for me. No return mailbox listed. Opening it, I found a note, and a package of cider spice which I got him hooked on a few years back. The realization hit, that in all likelihood, I will never see J again. Having left the company and moved to another state, we will probably never again share stories of our goofy labs and commiserate in the general comercialization of mainstream Christian non-fiction.

I think back to a college roommate who stood up in my wedding, but haven't heard from in 8 years. I wonder where she is, what she's up to. Other college friendships remain, so much so that their numbers are listed in my cell phone. What makes some friendships lasting and others simply drift away?

I can stretch my memory back to my high school years, and the youth group leaders who made such a difference in my life. I hear from them every now and then. We exchange Christmas cards and I laugh and cry with them over the events of the year listed in their newsletters or such. They made such a difference in my life, so many years ago.

I suppose this is the time of year to remember those old friendships, and people who have drifted from our lives. Remember the late night study marathons, the youth group lock ins, the late nights figuring out work problems, and say a little prayer. That they might know you still care - where ever they are.

What kids bring home from daycare...

How can it be?? How can such a little boy create such havok!?! Nothin' like a little stomach flu to brighten your weekend. I have the gag reflex of a first trimester pregnant woman (no clues, it's just an analogy folks!) - so watching, witnessing, cleaning up after, stomach flu 'messes' is not exactly a lot of fun. Then again, I suppose if you had the stomach of a shark - it still wouldn't be fun.

It's one thing to watch a little one go through such torment. But exactly why did I think I would be immune to such bugs?? My mother's well put advice about pre-emptive Pepto doses was just a little too late. Before I knew it - I was worshiping the porceline goddess, and so was Craig. Of course - we were trying to take turns in our one bathroom house. Ever setting an example for sharing. Emmett, being over the worst, lay blissfully asleep in his bedroom. The worst part was when he woke up! Energetic kid versus very sick parents. My normal bouncey kid, and his parents unable to move from constant ab workouts in the oh-so-abnormal way. It's one thing to know you look like... well.. ya don't look good. But when you're three year old asks "you ok, Umma?" you know you've got problems! Thank the LORD for parents close by. Grandma and Grandpa to the rescue! I haven't been that exhausted since...well, the day we arrived home from Korea.

The carnage you ask? Well, all things considered, we've survived. Two days off from daycare for Emmett, one day of missed work for Craig and I, and about half a dozen garbage bags. The washing machine has had quite a workout - my bathroom has almost more clorox cleaning solution on it than tile, and I must call up and personally thank whomever invented the clorox wipes. Thank you - whoever you are!

Well, on the other side of the illness, I can say I'm glad to be functioning. The appetite is long gone - I don't want ice cream for a while now (last thing eaten before onset). I'm pretty sure I've lost a few pounds over the whole thing - all my pants keep sliding down! But I'll tell ya - give me the pounds if it means I can avoid THAT!

Firsts

Tonight, I received my first kiss. From my son, that is. Without prompting or requesting - just a spontaneous kiss on the cheek. I know that we have missed so many 'firsts' of Emmett's. We never saw his first steps, his first tooth, his first bath. We have to make our own firsts - some are standard, and some are more specifically the adoption breed of firsts.

I'm sure that for parents of biological children, the first hug from your baby is precious, as is your first kiss. For AP (adoptive parents), especially those of us who have intercountry adoptions - the first time your child calls you Mommy or Daddy (i.e. English) has special meaning. The first time they hug you without prompting - or as tonight, kiss you on the cheek, can be an attachment milestone. There is something precious in that little hand reaching out for yours. Something grand in the knowledge that, although no one else can understand what he's saying, we can.

So I'm marking this day in my history. Three months and 1 day since landing in this strange country, my little jumping bean kissed me.

Where's Emmett?


















Surprise















Gotta love my monkey backpack





















Playin' with Linaea!


















I'll put this one right here - or maybe there?

The tree is up, most of the presents are wrapped, Emmett has had his first snow day, and now - we're all tired! Why are the holidays so busy? I know I do this to myself, fairly regularly actually, but can I get off the express train now??

I've deprived the webworld of recent Emmett pictures, so I'll throw a few on today. Speaking of today, we have our 2nd post-placement visit from our social worker. Can't believe it's been almost 3 months since we brought Emmett home. I can't say it seems like he's always been here, because he hasn't, and my life pre-motherhood was good and his life before me deserves it's own respect. We didn't bring Emmett into our lives to save him from anything. We wanted to love a child, and God choose Emmett. Can it be that simple and yet that complicated?

I've been reading a blog recently from an amazing writer. Who also is an adult Korean adoptee:
http://twicetherice.wordpress.com/ Her recent post about the celeb-adoption craze expressed exactly what I've been feeling about the whole thing. Maybe I'm jealous, that the Angelinas and Madonnas don't have to go through months of interviews to prove they're good enough, months of waiting for their referral calls, more months waiting for their travel calls. But when I think of the scrutiny that we faced getting our home study approved, it bothers the heck out of me that they don't go through the same process. And really - let's think about this - our social worker was concerned that our small house church was a cult because it is non-denominational. But apparently multiple intimate partners, constant travel, paparazzi chases, and the life of a celebrity is perfectly ok. Did I miss something here folks??? Wealth is not what is going to fix a child's life. Wealth can't undo years of neglect. Has Madonna participated in "holding time" in order to attach to little David? Has Angelina worked through attachment activities with Maddox? Zahara? Do they have any intention of helping these kids understand the culture that is their birth right? Ah - just bugs me.

Sorry, I apparently got on my soap box for a bit. I promise pictures soon. Off to clean the place before the social worker things we're crazy.

Thankfulness

No long comments today - just a request for thankfulness. There is so much to be thankful for that I think we don't often stop and just be thankful. I wish it didn't take a holiday - to make us remember thankfulness.

I could not hope to list all the things I am thankful for this year. The list would be too long! I encourage everyone, though, to stop - and think of what you are truly thankful for this Thanksgiving.

Working Mom Whoas

Since when did he start calling me Mommy to others? This was the thought I had when I called the daycare center to check on Emmett. He's been having some really tough mornings when Craig drops him off. Lots of tears, lots of pushing the teacher away, even a little passive aggressive "I'll just grab my coat off this hook for Appa so I can go home now" behavior. Not that I expected this transition to be easy, but apparently I've set myself up to fail!

What were we thinking??? As my dear cousin laments in his blog about parenting being a lesson in learning from your mistakes - we've made a good one here. Just an FYI for anyone looking to adopt, and then place in day care a 3 yr old from another country. Keep the schedule consistent on a daily basis (not weekly). And keep the number day care providers down to 1. DUH! Rookie mistake! So we've simplified Emmett's life (not that he has noticed yet). One daycare provider, and he goes every weekday. Although on Tuesdays, I'll pick him up really early.

Now I admit, Craig drew the short straw on the daycare/drop off/pick up deal. He's the one who has to drop the little man off. He's the one who hears from the back seat "Appa, home" in that pitiful little sad voice. Me, I get the good part! Watching my son tackle anyone (or anything) on his way to give me the biggest, tightest, take-your-breathe-away-cause-he's-got-your-neck! hug ever! All the while screaming "OOOOOMMMMMMMAAAAAA" Yep! it's cute.

But on Wednesday, which was his first really bad morning, I didn't get any work done. I couldn't concentrate. I kept wondering if he'd calmed down. Thoughts like "what have I done" would creep into my head. Maybe it's too early, maybe I should have stayed home longer, maybe this isn't the right daycare. It's no wonder I could concentrate. If parenting = learning from mistakes, then motherhood = living with doubt. My coworkers can attest to my saying "I've never doubted myself this much!"

And to top it all off, I'm now falling asleep at 9:30. Yep, the night owl that I used to be is apparently desiring to hibernate! ( do owls hibernate?) Oh Lord, I really am turning into my mother!

2 months home

Two months ago, I became a mother. On Sept 14, 2006 I landed in the US with Emmett holding my hand, in between eating shrimp chips. It's hard to imagine that it has actually been 2 months. September seems like an age ago. We've all come so far since then. Emmett has grown much more comfortable with us. His giggles and belly laughs brighten our days. And his singing of "Red Red Robin" just crack us up. We have adjusted to thinking that 7am is "waking up late", and that it does really take 10 mins to get out of the house with a 3yr old. Not to say that these last two months haven't been incredible hard either. The adjustment of insta-parenthood is not easy. Whether you bring home a 3yr old or a 3 day old - you still arrive in your house and think. Ok, now what?

Someone once told me they thought I was brave to bring a 3 yr old into our home after 7 years of marriage (i.e. having 7 years of just the two of us). I don't think I'm brave - naive yes, but not brave. The challenges of a 3 day old as opposed to a 3yr old are no greater or less, simply different. I love the fact that Emmett is three - I wish I had known him when he was younger, but the little person I know now is so much fun. To watch his imagination grow has been such a joy. Listening to him count everything (in English, no less) is a blast to hear. He is such a sweet boy - with a demeanor which is apparent to everyone. He's 3 - yes, so unfortunately, he doesn't look where he's running and will flaten his baby cousin onto the floor. But, he at least stops to make sure she's ok before continuing the chase. And when we talk to him about slowing down, and watching where he's going - he listens and tries to obey. He has a desire to the right thing - at least right now he does.

Many adoptive parents feel the need to say "I can't imagine life without him". I feel the same peer pressure to say that too. But I can imagine a life without Emmett. However, when I compare a life without Emmett to the life I live now, with him - I like the one I have now so much better. Not because Emmett brings me joy (which he does), but because I love Emmett, I love being his Omma, and I would trade this life (or Emmett) for a million days of sleeping in, or late night movies. God led us on this journey to adopt Emmett. God choose Emmett to be our son, and being thankful for the here and now is so much more appealing than imagining a life without Emmett.

So happy 2 month Family Day, Emmett. I'm so blessed to be your Omma - and I love you very much.

Where we are now...

Today is my last day home with Emmett. Monday it's back to reality and work. My job has historically been 50+ hours, so I'm pretty nervous about the transition.

We visited his daycare yesterday, and I guess I wasn't prepared for the mass chaois which is a 2-3yr old room. His teacher (who is Korean) is a saint and has the best attitude and patience. Despite the bully kid who's favorite pastime is punching other kids for no apparent reason.

Needless to say, I'm worried about my little man coming home with a black eye! Despite all of my worrying - he had a blast while we were there. I know that he will adjust, and I know that it's the best option for all of us. I'm not SAHM material - and he's bored out of his gord at home. It will be great for his English skills and independance building.

We're working him up to a full day at daycare next week and we'll take it one day at a time from there. I keep repeating to myself that it is only 3 days a week that he's even in daycare. (I have an amazingly flexible schedule), so at least I still have some dedicated time with him.

He has come so far since coming home. He is well attached to us. He loves his Appa and nearly jumps out of his skin to hug him when he gets home. He loves the dog, despite the dog playing tug-o-war with Emmett right into the door frame. He is very affectionate and wants to be hugged or held when he's sad. The sad times are fewer than ever, but a little cuddle and a song help us through those moments. His English has taken off! He knows about 50 or so English words as well as a dozen two -three word phrases. My favorite is the phrase "Come on" which comes out "CHEE mon". It just cracks me up when he tells the dog to chee mon - and the dog looks at me like "huh?". He basically understands everything that I need to communicate to him, he just can't always respond in English yet.

All in all, I've loved this time I've had to spend with Emmett one on one. I never thought I'd have a moments hesititation in returning to work, but something has changed in me. I think it's that I've become a mom.

Have I been humbled enough?

I think nothing humbles you so much as when you forget to pray before lunch - and it's your SON who reminds you. (Especially when he doesn't even speak much English). I want to be a good parent - and honor God in the way I bring up Emmett. I want Emmett to know God in a deep and meaningful way.

It's so much more than going to church on Sundays (although that helps). Am I ready to hear what God has to say? Or am I participating in a ritual, simply a tradition which makes me feel better. And why does it make us feel better to attend church? Should it make us feel better? Now, don't get me wrong. God's word provides comfort, hope, peace and joy. But if we're not convicted by the Word - if we can safely and confidently say that we are living in a manner worthy and pleasing to God. Then we're missing something. Only one person has ever lived in a manner completely and totally pleasing to God - and He died to provide us the opportunity to be reconciled with God.

I've been spending some time in Colossians (along with the rest of church) and although we've moved on to Chapter 4 already - I continue to be stuck in Chapter 1. Particularly v. 9-14. There is so much PACKED into those verses. I won't write that whole section out here for you - but instead pray that if interested, you'll go hunting it up for yourself. In v9 and 10, Paul prays that we might be filled with knowledge of His will (His being God's). And he prays this in order that we might live a life worthy of the Lord.

Oh but to live a life worthy of the Lord. Luckily, Paul tells us a bit of what that should look like in the rest of Colossians. But I can not help but be convicted. Do I live a life worthy of the Lord? It is a question that has haunted me daily, and has become my morning question. Will I live worthy of the Lord today? It's a choice we make - and there is joy in fulfilling it. Oh - don't go thinking I'm a saint (not that many of you were - I flatter myself - don't I?) There are many more times where I fail most miserably. And in those times - I rest in the grace of forgiveness and mercy which has been bought for me. Without those powerful promises set out for those who trust in Christ - I would be utterly lost.

You probably thought with a title like the above you would find some funny little tale of me being humbled by my son. Instead you've gotten a window into my heart and mind - scary stuff huh? I am humbled when I see Emmett's little 'prayer face' and hope that I can use that much energy in presenting my prayers to God.
I am humbled when I look at my life and see how far it is from being worthy of the Lord. But I am not nearly humbled enough.

Continue to humble me, God - I want to live a life worthy.

Maybe I should think twice...

Before I go hosting another birthday party! A 911 call & ambulance, a sick dog, and a generally adrenaline drained family later, we survived! Oh, everyone is ok - the 911 call was for a possible allergic reaction which turned out to be a horrible case of stomach cramping. (I swear I didn't cook anything which caused stomach cramps!) The sick dog decided that if he was going to spend the time behind a child gate with no one paying attention to him, that he'd just throw up for the fun of it. (UGH) And who wouldn't be drained after calling 911 for a family member?!?

I decided that after this year's round of birthday parties (of which we have at least two more ), I'm swearing off hosting kids parties at MY HOUSE. Next year we'll do it at an apple orchard or even heck, Chucky Cheese. Just please, not my house!!

Despite all the debacles of the evening - Emmett enjoyed his family, his presents, and his cake (Spiderman Coldstone cake - who wouldn't LOVE that??). It warms my heart to see him hug my brother and sister-in-law. And to blow kisses at my niece. Last night within 5 mins of being in bed, he was out cold. No wonder with no nap and a house full of people and NEW TOYS! This morning, when I woke him up for church he rolled (literally, this is how he enjoys getting out of bed) onto the floor and took one look at his new train set. He said in a whisper "Omma - CheeChee!!" which is the Korean form of "ChooChoo". Forget breakfast and the potty - just let me play with the train woman! Needless to say - we were late to church.

I know that I have mentioned before that Emmett has this wonderful (but odd to me and Craig) habit of putting things away. Craig and I are not neat freaks - our former roommates can attest. If ever there was a child who liked "a place for everything and everything in it's place" it would be Emmett. As I prepared my house for his party - I was cleaning and straightening. I seriously thought I was going insane. I was positive I had put my glasses case on the counter by the back door. But it kept showing up on the buffet cabinet where it has been for the last few months. I eventually caught on that Emmett, having seen the glasses case on the buffet cabinet for the last month, assumed that must be where the case goes. So when he found it out of place, he put it back! No wonder it was taking me so long to clean.

So I've learned my lesson. I'll survive through these two more parties, and then we'll call it quits on hosting birthday parties at our house. I think it's a good idea for everyone's sake.

Emmett's Three!

Wednesday was Emmett's birthday. We went to a Korean restaurant in town here, and had cupcakes and cookies back home. Pretty low-key celebration just the 3 of us. He has big birthday parties planned for the next two weekends.

This week has been an odd sort of week. Despite Emmett's adaptablity, it is still clear to me that attachment is still a process. Some days, for no clear reason Emmett will just dissolve into tears. I hold him, and sing a few songs which normally cheer him up, but mostly he just wants me to hold him. Naptime is a family affair now - minus Craig. I lay in his bed with him while he falls asleep. I used to be able to get up after he was out and do a load of laundry or finish cleaning up the kitchen, but lately, if I'm not there when he wakes up - it's more tears. So I've resigned myself to leaving the kitchen a mess and the laundry piling up. It's a tough call these decisions. I obviously won't be able to stay with him through his nap at daycare. And I won't be there if he needs a hug. I'm sure these are feelings any parent has when they prepare to leave their child in someone else's care during the day.

I can only pray that God will be Emmett's comforter when I (or Craig) aren't there. I hope that Emmett knows we love him and we're here to stay. But I can't blame him for being a little skeptical of that. He's heard it all before - albeit in a different language.

Speaking of language - Emmett has mastered "bless you" after everyone (including Moby) sneezes. He also has switched from ah nee oh to "no". I actually prefered ah nee oh! =)

Well, he's up. Which means I'm on for Omma-duty!

I Never Expected

Yesterday I laid on the floor with Moby. He slept while Emmett slept for his nap. I rarely get a chance to stop and gaze and my sleeping giant of a dog. So I took the time to really enjoy the peacefullness of his huge sandy colored body resting.

A little over 5 years ago this lab came home with us from Iowa. He slept on the back dashboard of the car. He cried when we left the farm he was born on and broke both of our hearts. He was so cute, we picked him out of two males in the litter. He had blue eyes, being half chocolate and half yellow. He was the playful one. I remember wishing I'd chosen the shy one once we arrived home and realized what a new puppy was like. He was a bundle of energy. Barely containable and all paws. "Huge paws" the vet, Dr Scott, said "He'll be big". And he wasn't lying!

Moby grew all legs at first, then came the chest and finally the head. He has a huge head. His blue eyes eventually went to a soft brown, matching his sandy fur. His full size is now 105 lbs. He stands with his head at about my hip, and if he jumps up on two paws, he's easily at my shoulders.

Despite the high energy that young labs have, Moby was relatively laid back. Not that anyone ever believed us about that. He was all normal happy excited lab whenever someone came to visit. Dr Scott calls him Wild Man. But he'd settle down nicely at home at least. We started using baby gates to keep him out of a room or away from non-dog-loving folks. Because of his size we used to really clamp the gates down. Until one day I just set it up for the moment, and Moby stayed. To this day, he will not cross, jump, or push down a baby gate. Just set them against the door frame, and he'll stay.

Yesterday as I watched my beast sleep at the foot of my son's bed, I saw all the white fur that has come into his face. It started just under his eyes. Now, it's all around his eyes and down most of his snout. He gets anxious if we leave him at someone's house now. He's so attached to us, I don't think he likes the idea of us being gone and him not being at home. He takes more naps, is slower to get up, and is generally aging as you would expect. The thing is, I never expected he would age a bit.

His 5 year vet appointment is this morning. You'd think he would hate the vet, but not Moby! He loves everyone even if they've stitched his eye lids, cut off his boy-dogginess and poked him a million times. He can't wait to go to the vet. The very mention of Dr Scott and the dog is excited. That's probably because all the vet-techs adore him. This time though, Moby has some lumps on his belly, and a broken tooth we need to talk about. And the constant ear infections are getting worse, and more difficult to treat. He's slowing down in general and I'm worried he's getting stiff. He still jumps up on our high bed, but I know it's getting harder for him. His puppy frenzies are fewer and farther between and mostly he wants to cuddle with us. I have to face it, he's getting older.

5 years isn't that old, I realize. But for a dog his size we won't have the long years I had with my childhood dog. As I watched him slip into a dream about something, all twitching and snarling - running while laying, I prayed for a long time yet to come with my beast. I won't miss the fur all over the house or the butter being eaten off the kitchen counter, nor will Craig miss the dog mines in the back yard. But we'll painfully miss the dog on our feet, the walk-by kisses, and the excited dashes to the door for a walk. Plus, I'll horribly miss the moments like yesterday, that I can lay down in front of him and watch him sleep - my arm around his big neck. Contented that he has us, and we have him, and the world is right. At least our little corner of it.

Just thougthts...

A friend just announced she's pregnant with twins. I honestly can't imagine having twins. I remember throughout the adoption process, people saying "Well, now that you've decided to adopt, you'll get pregnant". I remember being so paranoid of that very thing.

You see, Emmett was real to me long before I knew who he was. There was a piece of my heart tied to something invisible in Korea. I think that many people who don't experience adoption don't understand the strong connection pre-adoptive parents feel toward their future children. Even before seeing a picture, or being matched. Once you committ your heart to an unknown child, at least my experience is, that you're signed and sealed to that child, whomever they may be.

Maybe it is similar for my friend who is going to have twins. I wonder if the minute that little plus sign shows up on the test, if that is the moment which signs and seals your heart to the child within.

It amazes me at how God ties us together with such strong bonds, whether concieved in the heart or concieved in the womb.

Another thought occured to me as I try to write the text for Emmett's announcement. In adoptive circles who'll hear the term "Gotcha Day" - which refers to the day in which your child was placed in your care. I mentioned this in passing to my sister-in-law, K, who actually expressed my same feelings on this term.

Gotcha Day seems so inadequate a label for a day packed with such emotions. I can't come up with a better substitute, but would love it if someone else did. Suggestions welcome!

Ok - no more procrastinating! I have to get this text worked out! Ah - tomorrow is tumbling for Emmett - a good day is any day where he gets so flat out exhausted that he can barely stay awake for the 10 min drive home! Yippee!

Where does the time go?

Three weeks ago, I was just home from the trip of a lifetime. Holding the hand of my biggest and most verbal souvenir ever! I remember that first Friday. Thinking "oh my gosh, what have I done?"

Three weeks later, Emmett understands most of what I ask him to do - especially the regular phrases like "Take your shoes off" and such. He clearly says "All done" putting his hands out to his side which is more of an "I don't know" sign, but hey - I understand it! The funny thing about "all done" is that, in typical toddler fashion, he thinks the phrase is license to be freed of the situation. So "all done" means - I'm finished with these peas, and don't plan to eat anymore. Or I don't care if I'm supposed to have 'table time' for another 10 mins, I'm all done! He's learning that all done is really Mom and Dad's decision.

Now wait - before I'm thrown onto the burning pyre of strict parents. I'm not forcing peas down his throat or leaving him to sit at the table for hours at a time! However, I am trying to get him to eat veggies which are not his favorite. And table time is 20 mins sitting at the table with puzzles, books, coloring to do. It is a way to increase his attention span and prepare him for preschool/day care where he'll need to do the activity for as long as they want him to.

Words like "please" and "thank you" have a distinct Korean flare to them when Emmett says them. Please = peasda and thank you is kank ohah. Our most favorite game now is when I attempt to say choo-choo train in Korean and he laughs at my attempt. Shaking his head saying "no" as if conveying "you're nuts, mom!". Yesterday he was singing the Korean word for choo-choo train and then adding blah blah blah at the end. It must be what it sounds like when I try to say it!

We've received the first set of immigration paperwork yesterday, and it dawned on me, that although Emmett is now my son - he is not yet an American. I know that probably seems odd to everyone else, but he's become so much of our family, that I'd forgotten. The USA is gaining quite a little kid in this. And he's my son.

Is this what I signed up for?

Ok - so I thought I was busy when it was both Craig AND I caring to Emmett. I had no idea what being a full-time Mom was like. Shout out to all stay-at-home parents - you folks have a tough job!

I have survived 3 full days at home alone with Emmett. He is such a good kid, I couldn't ask for a sweeter disposition! No temper tatrums (well at least not yet). A few tears for nap time, and a few ahn-nee-yo (no) moments, but all in all, we've done well.

I think the most amazing part of this time in Emmett and my life is watching how he and I are becoming more and more fond of each other. I've always felt an affection for Emmett. But don't be fooled by my glowing reports of the angel we've adopted! I did not fall madly in love with Emmett the moment (or weeks after) we met. This has been such an adjustment for all of us - and despite my claims at being a change junkie - this change has not be easy. I'm discovering I like change which I can control. (no control freak comments please! =))

I remember when we brought Moby (the dog) home from the breeder. The first three weeks we seriously thought we'd go mad. We said over and over "what have we done?". Now, I'm not comparing my son to a dog, although my dog is much like a child! I am comparing the experiences. In both cases we were dealing with the needs of a living breathing thing, which required (not just needed) our attention and affection. I think there are certain changes that can not be prepared for.

However, despite all the uncontrollable change that my little Korean jumping bean has introduced into our lives - I am beginning to love the change coming over me. Last night as I sat in the ER with Emmett sleeping on my lap, having arrived after a major dog vs child collision which caused lots of crying and eventually vomiting, I realized that I wanted nothing more than to protect him from the next poke of a nurse or Dr. I wanted to feel sure that he was ok. Which he was - we're still learning his reactions - and apparently he is a vomitter when he cries really really heavily. I wanted to pick him up (all 34 limp pounds) and tuck him back into his bed with his stuffed doggie under his arm and watch his little chest rise and fall in relaxed sleep. I didn't even mind waking up at 4am to wake him up and make sure he was alright (Doc's orders, I'm not a nut who just randomly wakes sleeping children!). And everyone knows how much I enjoy my sleep!

So for you sports fans - the score is:
In the Dog Vs Child match: Dog 1 Emmett 0
In the New Mom vs Child match: Emmett is leading with a perfect vomit on Omma shot! (it wasn't that much)

Like I said - I survived.

All by myself

Tomorrow, I parent all by myself. Craig returns to work. I stay home. Again, I think - Holy Cow, what have I done??

Not that I want to return to work anytime soon (sorry guys!). It's the prospect of 10+ hours of parenting all by myself that frightens me. All my experienced parent friends tell me that my feelings of apprehension are normal, considering I've jumped into the toddler parenting sea with no life jacket and the responsibility of a lifetime like an anchor tied to my leg. (So, maybe I'm being a little dramatic, just go with me). I remind myself that I've learned how to do laundry, prepare a meal, blow someone else's nose, and keep the dog from eating the kleenex all at the same time. Just like Emmett can now confidently say "apple".

Tonight as my little guy fell asleep in his big boy bed, his little face all relaxed and content, I had to thank God for the gift that he's given me in Emmett. Reality continues to confirm my belief that Emmett was chosen to be our son by God. Not randomly by a committee at Holt, not by group of people here on earth, but almost 3 years ago, when Emmett's birth mother was feeling the pains of labor, God decided that Emmett would become our son.

I think back to what I was doing in October of 2003. We had just moved into this house a few months earlier. We hadn't really given adoption much more thought than "One day, let's adopt". Meanwhile thousands of miles away Emmett's birth mother was giving life to my son. Later she would make one of the hardest (if not the hardest) decision of her life. To wish for her son a better life than she could provide. I don't know that I would be so brave as her.

I pray for her when I lie on the floor in Emmett's room while he falls asleep. I pray that God would give her peace that Emmett is safe and loved. That he's happy here and is being spoiled by everyone he meets. I pray that despite the circumstances that have brought both of us to be this little boy's mother, that she might feel God's plan in it. And rest assured that what He has begun, He will bring to completion.

Where ever you are this Monday in Korea, birth mother, know that your son is loved. By his adoptive parents, his adoptive community, and most importantly - by his Creator.

Sorry to turn so heavy tonight - guess all of that is what I needed to get out of my head.

v1.?

It's strange the things you think about as you're trying to fall asleep. In my mind I remembered seeing a set of T-shirts while shopping several weeks ago. They were meant as a father/son matching kind of thing. The Dad's said "v1.0" and the son's said "v2.0". For some reason, that struck me today, just how meaningful that analogy is.

As I struggle to relinquish the joys of couplehood, and embrace the joys of motherhood, I remind myself that this is a new phase in both my & Emmett's lives. That's what made me think of the T-shirts. I know that the T-shirts are a joke (I honestly don't take everything this literally, really!). But I think they should be more specific. If a child is 2.0, then how can the parent still be 1.0? How many 'upgrades' have we undergone over our lifetimes?

I think honestly you can categorize a few stages of life into software upgrades and patches (can you tell I'm really a PC gal?).

v1.0 - Infancy:
-Basic functionality includes (but is not limited to); eating, sleeping, crawling, rolling, messing diapers, crying, smiling, and cooing.
-Known problems: Sleep program requires frequent midnight maintenance. Possible patch will be included in next upgrade.
-Next scheduled upgrade = Childhood approach 12 mos from v1.0.

v1.1 - Childhood:
Basic functionality includes (but is not limited to); builds upon v1.0 functionality, adds new tricks and games such as; walking, running, talking, playing coordinated games.
- Known problems: whinnying virus has been known to corrupt Talking program. Tantrum virus has been known to completely shut down system. Attempt to reboot if this occurs.
- Patches included: Sleep program has improved so that maintenance can be performed mid-day instead of during nighttime. Also, diaper operating system can be phased out with the use of the potty training application. Beware that installing the potty training application may take time, and frequent malfunctions are to be expected while the application is being loaded.
-Next scheduled upgrade = Student approach 4 to 5 years following installation of Childhood.

v1.2 - Student:
-Basic functionality includes (but is not limited to); riding bus, homework, reading, writing, math skills, comprehension, social studies, science, organized sports, musical lessons. Later versions of the Student upgrade include, late night studying, essay tests, and paper writing.
-Known problems: The following viruses are known to attack this upgrade; High Phone Bill virus which can cause headaches to user, Constant fundraising virus which can also cause headaches to user, Boyfriend and Girlfriend worms may be harmful to all other applications - these worms should be watched closely.
Patches included: Sleep program no longer needs maintenance. Potty training application is no longer necessary.
- FOR YOUR INFORMATION - the program College is sold separately.
Next scheduled upgrade = Adult approach 16 years following installation of Student. Be forewarned that Adult upgrade will not automatically run.

v1.3 - Adult:
-Basic functionality includes (but is not limited to); maintaining steady job, moving out of home, search for significant other, and paying bills.
-Known problems: Viruses known to attack are Debt, Over zealous partying, Job Hopping, and Forget Rent all of which may cause operating system to revert back to v1.2 without the many of the v1.2 programs functioning properly.
- Patches included: All known problems from v1.2 have been corrected.
Next scheduled upgrade = Retiree


v1.4 - Spouse: (this upgrade is optional)
- Basic functionality includes (but is not limited to); sharing everything, companionship, friendship, affection, and love
-Known problems: Anger and Fighting are both viruses which can be harmful to Spouse.
Next scheduled upgrade = Retiree

v1.5 - Parent: (this upgrade is optional) primary function of v1.5 is to facilitate the running of v2.0.
- Basic functionality includes (but is not limited to); Multi-tasking, Car Sounds, Kid songs, sesame Street, Toy Assembly, First Aid Administrator,
-Known problems: Problems with v1.1 & 1.2's can cause Sleep program to be interrupted, can also cause Elmo Overload virus to shut down Rational Thought program.

v1.6 - Retiree:
- Basic functionality includes (but is not limited to); Senior Discount Hunt, Slow driving, Mid-day Napping, Dinner at 2PM, Spoiling Little Children, Grandparent.
- Known problems: Sleep program requires maintenance every few hours, Eating program requires Teeth maintenance to be running in order to function properly, Boredom virus can cause problems if left unchecked.

With every new generation, we are on a new release.

So with these six versions, I think I can safely say I'm installing at least v1.5 While Emmett is on v2.1, but I guess that's all hard to explain on a T-shirt. Oh well!

Eureka!

Eureka... Eureka! When you find the thing you seeka, Eureka. This is a line from one of Emmett's favorite songs. It's from the Backyardigans cartoon soundtrack. And you should hear him spontaneously start singing in fairly clear English "Eureka!". Not that he understands what it means. But it's so darn cute!

I have decided that the language barrier is not going to stop me from my usual Irish gabbiness! I've started to just talk and talk and talk to Emmett. Telling him what I'm doing, where we're going, who will be there, etc. He nods his head and says "neh" (yes) and doesn't understand a thing. I could be telling him that we're going to the moon, and we'll be there for 5 years, and he's going to stay with aliens. He'd just nod his little head. Today he learned how we make dinner. First we have to preheat the oven, then measure the milk, etc. He was very interested!

Today we had Emmett's first Dr appointment. He did a great job despite being pretty scared. He sat on Omma's lap while he was examined, and only had a few tears roll down his chubby cheeks. Breaks my heart! I started singing another song to him (since music does such wonders for his mood) - the song says, "everything will be alright, be alright, day or nighttime" (K & J, you may recognize it from the Land of Nod CD). He chimed right in like a trooper! That's my little man!


That's about all for now.

How do you say exhaustion in Korean?

4 days home, 4 days done. I can't believe how much energy this little man has! I've taken to calling him my Korean jumping bean. When he's happy or excited he jumps in place up and down about a dozen times, then collapses on the floor. We have had a good deal of fun, and I think he is starting to get used to the routine of our life. Well, maybe routine is a little more than I can give myself credit for.

We've been to a playground, where Emmett was engaged in a short lived but fearsome tag game. Although he doesn't understand what tag is, nor that he was tagged, he gave chase without hesitation and figured out that he was supposed to catch someone. Funny how child are the best ambassadors! Language barrier - who cares!, I'll lay a hand on you and say "You're it", and run away, you'll figure it out!

We also embarked on a 2.3 mile hike in the forest yesterday. Before you start thinking that both of us are totally nuts (which in reality we are), I expressed my doubt that he'd make it through a 2.3 mile hike. He did a great job, and actually walked maybe 1.75 of the 2.3 miles. The rest of the time we carried him, which made for great bonding! During this hike we discovered Emmett's true love of singing and music. He was looking kind of bored, so I began singing one a children's song from a CD. He picked right in, and sang along (albeit without really using the words). He was consistently in time with our steps, even when we weren't singing and he was just humming to himself. Future percussionist maybe? Bro J, we'll need to have him watch some DCI - get him in early!

Bedtime continues to be tough. So much has changed as far as this routine. We read him stories in English, pray with him in English, then lay him in a bed and expect him to sleep. All very foreign (no pun intended) things. He's still grieving, and that is to be expected. To be quite honest, we're all grieving something. Craig and I are grieving our sleep in late mornings, our run out whenever we want to days, and the ability to just sit and think or read. But in comparison, so much is still the same for us. Emmett on the other hand has lost almost everything familiar. The land looks different, the people look different, everything smells different, everyone sounds different, and even though Omma bought kimchi and has made burgogi, it's just not the same, I'm sure. I have to remind myself that everything is so different for him.

Church today was great for all of us. Emmett was immediately accepted, loved and played with by all the kids. He's only a 7 mos younger than the youngest kid, so he's in pretty good company. He played all day, we even got to stay and watch the football game (GO BEARS!). He was so tired tonight that he could barely cry before bedtime. He just dropped off to sleep in no time at all. Poor kid plays so hard, he gives his all to playing. I think he'd been in his car seat about 5 mins before falling to sleep!

Speaking of sleep - I'd better get some. What was it I was saying about exhaustion? Don't hold the hour of this post against me.

Pictoral Diary: Part 1

Below are a few extra pictures I've been meaning to post. I'll post the rest in a future blog, but for now, this is what's uploaded. I've been having serious uploading problems, so bare with me. =) FYI - go to the bottom and scroll up - it will probably make more sense.

This boy is the apprentice, he did a number of tight rope acts, including walking like a nobleman (high kicking walk), and walking like a woman (all hips). He was really very good, and occasionally had the whole crowd fretting that he'd fall.
These girls are jumping on a seesaw (kids, don't try this at your local playground!). They would fly in the air and do tricks, even backflips. It is apparently great exercise. This was strictly a woman's exercise, and as the folk legend would have it, if a girl didn't do this enough she wouldn't be able to have babies. Interesting, huh?
Not sure the name of these flowers, but they are crushed and made into a kind of dye for fingernails. If only I could get a manicure from my garden here in the states. (of course that would require me getting some type of green living plant to survive!)
Tanya, this picture is for you. This is a Korean dog. There is a specific breed of dog native to Korea. They're known for their loyalty - in that the saying goes that "they are a dog of one owner".
This is a monument to a family. If a particular family did something really amazing, the village would make a monument to it. (Hopefully, I got that right Sunny!).
Entrance to the Traditional Korean Folk Village. It's a distance from Seoul (about a 45 - 50 mins from Sejong by bus), but well worth the trip!
Seoul Tower. This shot is from the street behind the hotel. You can just look up there and see the tower!
Kimchi or Soy sauce pots! These were outside the tea house where we enjoyed the best tea! This little gem of a place is in the Insadong market. It's down a little alley across from a famous Man Doo shop. Sorry I can't be more specific for those who will be traveling - but, I'd definitely check it out if your in Seoul. Even I liked the tea (and I'm not a tea person). Thanks Mike & Sunny!
Our kind, amazingly generous, wonderfully knowledgeable, and darn good looking friends who so graciously showed us around Seoul. Thank you Thank you Thank you and Camsam nee da!

Ah - Home!

Sorry for the absence! As you can imagine since Wednesday, we've been kind of busy. We are home now, and I sit in my comfy bed and type while trying to stay awake at least until 9pm. Boy, I just hate jet lag!

Wednesday was probably one of the most difficult days I've experienced. I thought I was nervous on Monday, but that was nothing in comparison to the nerves that overtook me on Wednesday. Foster Mother & Father were both at Holt when we arrived to bring Emmett home. Emmett has certainly made an impression on everyone at Holt, practically the entire place was tearing up at his leaving. Foster mother hugged me, openly weeping and said - "Please take good care of him". A charge I don't take lightly. She has loved him completely and without reserve, and I can only hope to live up to that standard.

Wednesday night, back at the hotel, was overwhelming. As we tried to pack up a few things in preparation for our early departure the following day, Emmett grabed his shoes and said many things in Korean that we just didn't understand. From his reaction and persistance, I gather he thought he was going back to Foster Mom's house. When we finally put him into his PJs for the night, it hit him that he wasn't going back to Foster Mother's - at least not tonight. He cried for about an hour & a half. Not a hysterical cry, but a soft weep, which broke Craig and my hearts completely. We held him, sang to him, rocked him, and finally he fell asleep firmly planted between us in the bed.

Today has been an excerise in patience, endurance, and steadfastness. I think these will become my mommy mottos! P-E-S (yes, I've been at Hewitt too long that I now have to make an acronymn out of everything). The check in and security lines in Seoul were brutal to say the least. It's tough for any 2 almost 3 yr old to stand patiently in line - heck, it's hard from some adults. It's even harder when you're parents only understand about 10 words you say. Ah-neeyo (No) became my most practiced Korean word. All in all, Emmett did a great job throughout the day. He slept about 4 hours during the flight, which is more than Umma and Appa have had in two or three nights! He has begun testing his boundaries already (ah - 3yr olds), which has been frustrating. But boredom seems to be his worst enemy, so we'll have to watch out for that. Our arrival in Chicago was celebrated with family only, and it seemed that Emmett was not too overwhelmed by all of the people. He's generally a social little guy, so maybe people don't overwhelm him as much.

Moby (the dog) made quite an impression when we got home. To the extent that Emmett was afraid of him completely, and I mean paralyzed with fear, for the first few hours. He is slowly starting to warm up to Moby, now that Moby has calmed down from the initial excitement. Hopefully this will be a short lived thing - as neither are likely to be leaving the home any time soon. We will be praying for Emmett's fear to subside.

Our biggest stumbling block by far is the language barrier. You can tell it frustrates Emmett, and Lord knows that it frustrates Craig and I. I lost count of the number of times he said something to me with his sweet little "huh?" at the end, which is my que to respond - and I had to say "I don't know". I think those will be his first English words "I don't know".

Now, we have to sleep. It's only 8:34, but I think I've come close enough to my goal. Glad to be back on U.S. soil.

Ah what a day!

We were offered a second meeting with Emmett and his Foster Mom today. We went to the Seoul building 63 which is like the Shedd Aquariaum, Navy Pier IMax theater and Sear's tower all rolled into one. Having the opportunity to spend another day with Emmett before offically becoming his parents is such a great surprise and blessing! We had no translator - Foster Mom speaks just about as much English as we do Korean so it made for interesting communication! However we managed just the same.

We are continually thankful for Emmett's Foster Mom! We can see how much she loves him, and how difficult this parting will be for her. But through her grief, she continually encourages Emmett to interact with us, hold our hands, etc. God has certainly answered our prayers regarding Emmett's preparedness for the coming event. Although I'm sure that he is going to grieve, his little heart broken over leaving his Foster family and his country. I know that Foster Mom has worked hard to prepare him as best she can, without withholding any affection, care and love from him.

In addition to our few hours with Emmett and Foster Mom, we revisited Namdemun (South Gate) market. Even Craig went shopping! (I know - shock & awe!)There are so many additional packages between the four of us that we had to buy another suitcase to carry them all home! Oh heavens, what have we done?!?

To cap off this wonderful day, we had dinner again with Michael and Sunny (M&S from a previous post) our friends here in Seoul. What absolute blessings they are to us! We will be forever indebted to them for their kindness. There is nothing they haven't done for us - and we would have been truly lost here without them. I'm sad to know we won't see them again for several months. They've become like a brother and sister to Craig and me, and we've so enjoyed getting to know them, and the beautiful country they live in.

As I look to tomorrow, and our impedding insta-parenthood, I have to give pause. I am becoming a parent tomorrow. I am becoming responsible for the well-being of another person. It is strange to think that this little guy has so totally stolen my heart. His little hand in mine today made me feel so special to be becoming his Meegoo Omma (American Mom). There is no doubt in my mind that God has choosen this child to be ours. Despite major language barriers, cultural differences and 14hr flights - God has planned tomorrow, this past week, and all weeks to come. I can rest in that assurance.

Whatever you bind on earth

Matthew 18:18 - Whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will shall have been loosed in heaven.

This is Emmett's verse, as was given to us, written in Hankul (Korean) by Nurse Lee. Today I met my son.
My stomach is still lodged somewhere in my throat, my heart is still beating a bit faster even though we left Holt over 2 hours ago. We met Emmett as we entered the Holt building. We were 15 minutes early thanks entirely to our guides' excellent instructions, yesterday, on Seoul's subway system. Thanks M & S! Emmett, was playing in the nursery when another foster mother recognized us and brought him and foster mother out to us. He bowed very low in polite Korean fashion and won our hearts there and then. He was a bit shy until we produced the Mini Cooper toy car, then he was all about the toy cars!



He is such a wonderfully relaxed little boy! He was very quiet and reserved. Laid back would be the best description of him. He loved the cars, and played crash with Craig and Grandpa while Umma (that's Mom in Korean - meaning me) asked our translator/social worker here all her many questions. The foster mother is so gracious and amazing! She kept a diary of every day with Emmett - and has given it to us. She also provided a photo album of his time with her. We are so very very blessed! Tomorrow we go to the aquarium with foster mom & Emmett. This will be just Craig and me on this little trip. We are so very excited for this second opportunity to spend time with them.



More than ever I have felt God's peace, His soveriegnty in this whole process. God has heard all our prayers and has prepared Emmett and us for this meeting. To God be the glory! Most assuredly! Amen!

To Maia

Maia, Uncle Craig says hello! I wanted to post something directly to you. Do not worry, Uncle Craig did make the trip. See here he is in the alley or street behind our hotel. We were looking for some breakfast this morning!


Today we went to the Korean Folk Village. Here we saw traditional Korean life as it was a century ago. We saw the most interesting dancers perform a traditional dance. This dance was to the sound of drums and cymbals. It was very cool to watch. Do you see the ribbons in the air? They are attached to the hats which the dancers wear. They move their head to make the ribbons fly through the air. It is a very pretty sight.

Also, you asked if there are any girls who look like you here in South Korea. You are Chinese and Emmett is Korean. However you are both from the continent of Asia, so you are Asian. Because you are both Asian, you look alike. Here is a Korean girl who reminded me of you today.


It is very late here in Korea, so I am going to go to sleep now. I hope you have a wonderful Sunday. Please greet everyone at church for Uncle Craig and me. Tell them we say hello, or ahnoung ha say oh. Have a good day, Maia.

Kayobo Bookstore

Children reading in store. Why don't we see this as much in the States? Look at the these kids just finding a spot on the floor to read together. Really cool, huh?


Jennette with Korean Folk tales book (in both Korean and English)




Hallway in Kayobo

A Sea of Humanity

I remember my short time in Tokyo. A lasting impression was the masses of people. Large numbers of people, of all ages, packing the streets. Today we experienced the same sea of people, only this time, Korean. After spending the day shopping and exploring the many galleries of Seoul, we walked back to our hotel under the sure guidance of our friends. Our route back took us through Myeong-dong market, which is only a few blocks from our hotel. It was packed on this rainy Saturday afternoon. Packed with teenaged kids, cell phones in hand, IPod earphones in use - walking in sure determination to the fashion hot-spot of choice.

I became keenly aware that under different circumstances, Emmett might have grown up to be one of those teenagers. As we ate a traditional Korean meal of MonDou (sp?) I wondered if he enjoyed this dish? The longer I stay here in Korea, the more I am aware that I am being given one of her treasures.

On a lighter note:
Today's adventures included Namdemun (South Gate) Market, where we found a very nice Hanbok for Emmett, a small wooden lantern, and a set of traditional Korean fans. Our guide, M, took us through a simply beautiful flower market where the fragrance of fresh flowers was almost overpowering. We then moved on to Kayobo bookstore. This bookstore puts Barnes & Noble or Borders to shame! I have never seen so many books! See below for pictures. We moved on from Kayobo to Insadong market. Here we explored a few art galleries, ate lunch and went to our friend's favorite tea house. After Insadong we trekked back to the hotel, where we mostly rested after fighting up-stream through Meyong-dong market.

I'm going to download some of these pictures - and then sleep! I haven't struggled too much with jetlag yet. We'll see if my luck continues.

Enjoy your Sunday morning!

Greetings from Seoul

Or should I say Good Morning!? We have arrived safely and are all settled into our hotel. I thought I was prepared for complete exhaustion from my last international trip! HA! 16+ hours of constant travel are tiring, let me tell you!

I highly recommend Korean Air for anyone traveling here. Our flight was very enjoyable, if not incredibly long. Entertainment in the back of the seat rest in front of you, including video games. I now am quite good at MineSweeper! Despite some rocky spots of turbulence, we had no trouble at all. I can only hope for such a smooth ride on the way back home. Although, I must admit I kept thinking- if I'm sick of being on this tin can in the sky - what is my 2+ yr old son gonna be feeling!

Today we shop and site see! A family friend (American) who lives here in Seoul has volunteered to play tour guide for the weekend. A very sweet and gracious sacrifice of his time, and we're very excited to be shown all the sites by such a giving person.

Craig and I have lost track of the number of times we've said "I can't believe we're here!" A year and some of waiting for this very moment, and here we are - in the birth place of our son. A very strange feeling of calm is with me, and that I can thank the Lord for. So here we go to enjoy our Seoul adventure!

Happy Friday to everyone back home!

And we're OFF!

Our flight is scheduled, the hotel booked, our bags are packed (well mostly), and the house cleaned. I think I can safely say we're ready to go! Of course tomorrow, in the panic of security check-ins and passport inspections, I will remember that I forgot to _____ (fill in blank) or left ______ unfinished. I just hope those things won't be my passport or plane tickets!

Want to say thank you to everyone who has expressed such care and excitement for us in our journey. It warms our hearts that we are so loved. And it is very encouraging that Emmett will come home to so many people who care for him already. Just as we do.

So without further ado... We're off!

Next post will be coming to you 13 hours in advance from Seoul!

How do you spell SHOCK?

Holy cow! Holy cow! I can't believe it - this can't be happening. These were the thoughts running through my head when we got our travel call to pick up our son, Emmett, in South Korea.

You see, we were told it would take 20 - 40 days for this call. Seven (7) days later, today, I received the news. For 1 year we've been praying for this call, and now it is here. Along with immense joy, came the realization - the sudden impact of reality, that I will be a mother. A mom, to a 2 year old boy who knows nothing about me except a picture we sent a month ago. I wonder what his little head is thinking. He doesn't know me - nor Craig. And yet he needs to put his complete and total trust in us. He needs to trust that we'll take care of him, love him, giggle and play with him. And we have vowed that we will care for him, love him, giggle and play with him! But, what a shock this all must be for our little guy.

I can only pray that God is preparing his little heart for what is to come. I pray that God be preparing my heart for what is to come, for this roller coaster in front of me. Huh, roller coaster... I remember my first roller coaster ride. I begged my Dad (who doesn't like roller coasters) to come with me. He asked why I choose him to go when Mom was the one who liked roller coasters. I told him he had bigger arms to catch me if I fell out! I'm looking for that now, God. You're big arms to catch me if I fall out!

That's all the time I've got for now. Keep checking back as we travel to Korea, I'll be posting the latest and greatest as we learn it. We'll go for the ride together (well, kinda). =)

Married to a sports fan

I should have known. I should have known that I was in trouble when Sports Center was the first channel my husband turned on when we returned from our honeymoon. Now - ask me, and I can actually sing the Sports Center theme music.

Let me ask all you sports fans... how much can really change in the matter of a few hours? I mean really! There are only so many games happening in a day - right? How long does it take to get a report on all of them? And why do sports anchors have to yell? Is it that they've spent too long in stadiums with loud obnoxious fans? Do they think we've spent too much time there?

And GOLF - don't get me started on golf. How boring is golf to watch? At least with football there's action! Golf is the prefect Sunday afternoon nap sport. Ugh. Now as the football season gears up through pre-season, I foresee my future. Sunday after Sunday with the Bears games playing, C yelling at the TV, and the dog trying to apologize for whatever he's done to make C yell. And what is with fantasy football? Who's fantasy is that?

I suppose there are worse addictions for a spouse to have. I should be glad for the sports addiction.

The pointless post

Ok - so I've never been one for journaling. And I'm sure having a blog will in no way change that. A few years back, my sister-in-law, K (an excellent writer) did an online writing challenge. It was something like - write a book or short story or something in a specified amount of time. And I remember her saying that one thing she learned was that even when you don't know what to write, or have anything to write, that to just write sometimes gets to things you didn't think you wanted to write. Hence - this post. ; )

There's no point here. No insight I'm trying to share. Just me writing. This will most likely be the most boring post of them all. Good thing, most folks don't know this blog even exists yet. But if someone gets adventurous while looking around - they may at some point come to the pointless post. Ah! A name! A title! Wow - look at that! Just out of that came a great title to this post. Maybe K had something to this writing for writing sake thing.

Well, back to all preparing for parenthood. A task which I'm convinced is really impossible to accomplish, but I'll try it anyway.

That's all for now...

Review of: Little Miss Sunshine

Just got back from a really enjoyable movie. Now be warned there is a good deal of language and some very 'suggestive' content. But over all the movie made me laugh out loud. Greg Kinear has mastered his character. Several times throughout the movie I was compelled to strangle his character! The movie reminds me of how, although different, every family has it's quirks. That even in the most pathetic circumstances - families rally in support. Well, at least they all should.

Anyway - good flick, worth the box office price, however, leave the kids at home. It's a bit too much for that age group.

Rambling off to sleep! 'night all!

Adoption 101

My education in adoption has been unconventional, I think. No books can prepare you for the things you'll face, the feelings you'll go through. No required educational seminars can prepare you for the process of adoption. A process which is firmly set in jello.

Most of you know of our journey to adopt Emmett - our son waiting for us in South Korea. We've never met Emmett. All we know of Emmett is from a 5 page report we received when South Korea matched us with him. He isn't called Emmett in South Korea, rather he's called by his Korean name (duh - that makes sense). He likes to play and run and jump (don't know many 2+ yr olds who like that, do you?). This is what I know of my 2yr and 10 month old son. There are chapters of his life I will never know. Years of his development which will forever be a mystery to me. And yet, God has given me such a peace with all that is happening. God has proven over and over that Emmett is our son - not just our son - but the son God chose for us. How cool is that??

Today we worked on getting Emmett's room finally in order. There's still work to be done (finish installing that darn door!). But his bed is made, his toys in line, his clothes folded and put away. This makes it real - I'm bringing home a son. Spending all this time in his room today - I remembered several years ago talking to a woman about adoption. I remember her saying "I could never love a child that wasn't mine". And I remember my shock at hearing that. I have to praise her for her honesty, though. Maybe she just knew it wasn't for her. Maybe it wasn't the right time to talk about adoption for her. Now, years later as I face the onset of my own experience with adoption, her words came back to me. I have no high hopes that at our first meeting I will fall madly in love with Emmett. I have no aspirations for a love-at-first-site, slow motion cheesy music moment that some Lifetime Movie would try to depict. But I do love Emmett, even now - having only his picture to look at. Only knowing that he likes to play. I can feel my heart loving, worrying over, and looking out for, him. I'm sure this is God's education in adoption. God's way of teaching me to love someone I so barely know. And who better to teach this life-long class? (wow- life long - *gasp*)

I suppose I just wish for a syllabus!

That's all the ramblings for now...

Can dogs laugh?